Thursday, September 18, 2008

Bring Your Daughter to Work Day: The Project Runway recap

Brace yourself: It’s going to be a model blood bath next week.

Not only did we lose two designers last week, but we didn’t use the real models this week at all. That means three—count em—three models are going home next week. Devastating! (Ha, who am I trying to kid? Nobody cares!)

Nope, instead of the regular models, onto the runway marched a bunch of middle-aged women. Or, as Leanne described them, “old ladies.”

Jerell, never one to ignore the obvious, immediately deduced that these couldn’t have been the mothers of the designers because, well, none of them were black. (Hey, I give the boy mad credit. Designers of past seasons wouldn’t have been so swift.)

Because while yes, indeed, these women were moms, they were not the designers’ moms. Instead, they were the mothers of just out of college young ladies looking to update and professionalize their look. So—whew!—the daughters were the clients. No mom jeans and Sarah Palin activewear in anyone’s future.

It was Joe who assessed the challenge most succinctly: “The problem with mothers and daughters is that whatever the daughter likes, the mother hates and whatever the mother likes, the daughter hates.” True enough. However, in classic Joe fashion, he had to repeat has little kernel of wisdom twice, just in case the cameras weren’t rolling the first time he said it.

Of course, I was immediately fascinated by Kenley’s mother-daughter duo, not just because the husky-voiced mother would have fit right in during the transvestite challenge (oh, c’mon. . .you know you were thinking the same thing) but because the daughter—a dead ringer for TV’s Blossom, Mayim Bialik—was also a bit of a Kenley clone, at least style-wise. Kenley totally lucked out.

Jerell lucked out, too, with an adorably androgynous mother-daughter duo, who seemed totally laid back and up for any of his flights of fancy. I think they were both high.

At Mood, Suede emitted the single gayest line ever uttered on Project Runway (and that’s saying a lot): “Ohmygod, Suede found a Pucciesque fabric in purple!” Hooray!

But back in the studio, Suede and Joe were totally laying eggs. Suede’s client was a photographer who favored pants (reasonably), but “Suede doesn’t do pants.” So Suede went with his Pucciesque purple dress and some sort of God awful Sergeant Pepper jacket. Good call.

Joe had a hip looking graphic designer, and decided to turn her into some sort of ’80s cliché in a power suit.

The girls all had makeovers and, when I say they were slightly better than those doled out on last night’s America’s Next Top Model, trust me, that is damning with faint praise.

By far, the best makeover went to Jerell’s client, Caitlin. They gave her a dark, edgy, Sally Hershberger style cut that totally worked.

As for Jerell’s hat—a sort of shower cap for the Black Lagoon—it had no alibi. (Exclusive tip from Tim Gunn’s blog: Caitlin was supposed to wear that monstrosity. Thank God, Jerell self-edited. Nothing moves the needle from “you’re hired!” to “you’re fired!” faster than grossly alienating head gear.)

Cynthia Rowley was today’s guest judge. I’m sure the dialog bubble over her head read: “My eyes! My eyes!” Because I’m not going to lie: There was a whole lot of epic failure on that runway.

Korto needs to step away from burlap. Her jacket looked itchy.

Leanne regressed to old, frumpy self with her bulky cropped jacket.

Kenley was positively gloating when the judges praised her retro dress with the fitted belt and vest. It was quite hilarious, though, to see her face fall when they began praising Jerell’s brown top, pencil skirt, and over-sized cardigan.

Also hilarious? When Kenley’s Mini-Me pulled a Kenley and began laughing in Joe’s face when Michael Kors was making fun of his outfit. (Note to Big Sisters of America: If Kenley calls, pretend she got the wrong number.)

So Jerell wins again! Kenley fumes, but is safe, as are Leanne and Korto.

Inevitably, it comes down to Joe and Suede. It was hard for me to muster up much concern for either guy. They’ve both over-stayed their talent.

So Joe is . . . out. Wait, let me repeat that in case the cameras weren’t rolling: Joe’s garment sucked, so he is out.

Next week: Kenley and Tim THROW DOWN!


Jennifer said...

I could not care less about the models--why do they even bother?

I'm so glad Joe is gone--his outfit was not only ugly--that poor girl looked so uncomfortable in it. Made me want to put on some sweatpants.

I don't know what Suede was thinking. The girl wouldn't have been able to take a single picture with those big old sleeves all up in her lens.

I hate Kenley. Note to Kenley: You're not all that and I didn't like your dress. I think her client's mother's other child might be Harvey Firestein!

Ellen said...

I wouldn't enjoy the show half as much if it weren't for your recaps, Max.

David Dust said...

You are SO right - no one cares a fig about the models!

CLICK HERE for DavidDust's Project Runway recap.