Do I Dare Design a Peach? The Project Runway recap

Oh Tim, you tease you. 

First you announce the promising—albeit a little played out—challenge: Design a day and night look inspired by a New York neighborhood. And then you brightly trill, "More exciting news!" 

You see, Tim, usually when someone says "More exciting news!" what follows is, well, exciting news. "And you'll be working in pairs!" does not qualify, no matter how enthusiastically you say it.

But who could resist the allure of 8 divided by 2 which equals 4? Math has a mind of its own. And it must be obeyed.

Yup, 8 contestants left and every single one of them has won a challenge . . . except for Maya. Awkward! Would this be her week?

Anthony is the first team leader and he picks Maya. (They get Chinatown.)

Amy goes next and—oh! squee! besties!—picks Jonathan. (Upper East Side.)

Emilio goes next and picks Seth Aaron. (Harlem.)

Leaving Jay and his moobs to pick Mila. (East Village.)

Jay acts like receiving Mila as a partner is some sort of major handicap. She's only won 2 challenges and come in second on at least 2 more. It's not exactly like you were saddled with Ping there, fella. 

So they wander the neighborhoods. And Anthony makes Maya laugh, which is such a strange and foreign experience for her that she has to look at her reflection in a store window to see what her teeth look like. 

And Emilio is so stoked to share Harlem with Seth Aaron, they're practically holding hands and skipping. 

And Amy keeps asking Jonathan if things—the brick, the wrought iron, the high numbers on the street signs—are "classic Upper East side" and I'm already beginning to worry that she's over thinking it. 

Meanwhile, Jay and Mila are . . .coexisting. Which is the best either could've possibly hoped for.

Nothing of consequence happens at Mood. Back at the studio, Maya is trying to tell Anthony that she knows better because she's an "artist." How Anthony managed to avoid saying, "So what am I? Shit on a shingle?" or some such thing is beyond me.

And Seth Aaron keeps adding random swatches of color when Emilio isn't looking. But Emilio keeps making him take them off.

And Jonathan and Amy are trying to recreate the entire 3rd edition of Patternmaking for Design, Vol. 1.

And you know who's working together quietly, professionally, coolly? Yup, Mila and Jay. 

Okay, Mila is justifiably concerned with Jay's lackadaisical tank top approach. (Every once in a while Jay forgets to try.) But mostly, it's smooth sailing. 

"Let's just say it's working as planned!" boasts Emilio, as it was his Machiavellian maneuvering that led to the pairing of Jay and Mila. (And by Machiavellian maneuvering, I mean: He picked Seth Aaron over Mila.) Not quite sure what drama he thinks he's created.

Tim comes by and likes everyone's look, but is concerned about Jay's pants and thinks that maybe Jonathan is overdoing it. Ya think?

Jonathan and Amy begin to get a little nervous and I'd love to have a gif of Jonathan, face pasty, faux hawk askew, 5 o clock shadow darkening, looking straight at the camera and saying: "We're f*cked."

To the runway they go. 

Top Two:

I have to say it, I hated Seth Aaron's overworked dark denim jumpsuit—although maybe it was that atrocious "Fat Bastard"-style hat. The judges loved it, so what do I know?

I prefered Emilio's zipper gown, although it didn't quite have the wow factor. 

Maya's pagoda-inspired jacket (with Anthony's fabric choice that she had earlier deemed tacky, btw) was nice—and I particularly appreciated the red darts in the skirt—but a little too conservative for me. 

Anthony's paper dragon dress almost worked. 
(Presumably, Maya would've come in first had she and Anthony won the challenge. Poor Maya, always the girl who looks like the woman who wins many of the challenges, but never the winner, herself.)

Bottom Two:

Mila's Lower East side jacket and red tights had her usually spectacular craftsmanship and precise point of view, but I have no idea why the model was giving us rock and roll devil horns at the end of the runway. That thing was about edgy as Hannah Montana.

The less said about Jay's droopy tank top the better. (But kudos to him for supplying Molly Sims with the proper verbage: "It tanked.")


Last (and, sigh, least) Jonathan and Amy. Oh, Amy. I had such high hopes for you. But after last week's taxidermy disaster and this week's peach shirt dress that screams "sales rack at Anthropologie"—it's time to go. As for Jonathan, his dress was overworked, but it had potential.  It needed a do-over. (Or in his case, a do-under.)

So Emilio and Seth Aaron BOTH win! And it's a touching middle-aged male bonding moment. 


And little Amy is out. (If I had any idea how to do a little emoticon frowny face on Blogger, I'd insert that here now.)

Next week: Someone designs a disco straight jacket!

(Unrelated P.S. that only 5 percent of my readers will comprehend. Go Terps!)