Thursday, May 1, 2008

Walk Like An Egyptian: The ANTM recap

Oh noes! My two favorite girls in the bottom two. This simply CAN NOT end well.

And . . .it doesn’t.

Poor Kat. She finally wins CGoTW and look what happens to her. She ends up on the wrong end of a Polish joke.
And here’s the worst part: She just might have deserved it.

Say what you will about Dominique. And here a few things you may say . . .
She looks older than Rue McClanahan.
She looks manlier than The Rock.
She shops at the Hot Tranny Mess superstore.
She gets her hair styled at the Hair Butchery.

But she took a helluva picture last night. She finds her angles—maybe just a single angle? I mean, how many good angles can this girl have?—and she works it. When her picture came up at judging, I thought, Rut-ro.
I had done the math: Fatima rocked her photo shoot. Anya rocked her photo shoot. Now we knew that Dominique, God help us, rocked her photo shoot. Who didn’t rock their photo shoots? Whitney (“Go the Light”) and Kat (“Walk Like an Egyptian.”)

God, how I wished that Fatima had been the one to screw up. Ever since the big blank picture reveal two weeks ago, she’s had this giant chip on her shoulder. I mean, who can blame her? She didn’t just beat poor Stacy Ann with one hand tied behind her back. She beat Stacy Ann without even showing up for the game! That’s got to give a girl a little swagger. However, on Fatima, the swagger is really annoying. The more confident she gets, the less I like her. So much for the restorative powers of self-esteem.

As for the rest of the show, a few random thoughts:

It was funny that the girls were asked to be “fierce” during Gladiator training. This may be the first time on the show that the word was used in its proper context.

I loved when Whitney described Dominique as “a face that’s Gladiatrix and a body that’s posing.” Is that the new “head for business, body for sin?” I approve.

What was up with Mr. Jay and Tyra in confessional? When she slid down, Jay looked petrified.

I can’t wait to watch Farmer Wants a Wife!*

Nigel was uncharacteristically gabby at panel last night.

And Tyra brought out the random, Britney-Spears-right-before-being-committed accents again. I’m concerned.

As for Kat . . .does she take any comfort in knowing that she’s drop dead gorgeous? And that Tyra said she has “it”? (Wait. If she has “it” why isn’t she still in the damn competition?). Also, can I borrow her boots?

* Just kidding.

1 comment:

sgoodl said...

Anya is so winning this thing. And I'm already flashing forward to the incomprehensible "my life as a Cover Girl" ads of next cycle.

Oh well, at least Brooke finally got the boot on Idol. You win some, you lose some.