Mother, May I Sleep With Organza?: The Project Runway Recap

Well, we did it.

We survived the first episode of Project Runway: The Lifetime Years. All in all, it wasn’t that bad. The contestants weren’t asked to design mom jeans, or a fannypack, or a tea cozy, but it was a little jarring having them in L.A. and seeing ads for Army Wives and Drop Dead Diva instead of Real Housewives and Millionaire Matchmaker.

Let’s get the elephant out of the room, shall we? How much did Ari look like Samantha Ronson? I mean, slap a black fedora on that girl, stick her behind a turntable, and you’re good to go. (Anyone up for a hipster version of Parent Trap? Lindsey can give the girls performance tips.)

But here’s the million dollar question: Do you think the episode was filmed during one of Lindsey and Samantha’s “off” periods? If so, is it possible that Lindsey was exacting her revenge on Samantha by getting Ari booted? Might Ari have been “in” if Lindsey wasn’t “out?

As for NA poster child Johnny? I have the following words in my notes: “Too soon! Too soon!” Look, if you’re crying half an hour into the first challenge (and it’s a relatively easy challenge at that; it’s not like you’re making a dress out of a head of lettuce or anything) and if you need Tim Gunn to go into Papa Tim mode (“Are you being too hard on you?”) and if you’re freaking out because you have no access to cell phones so you can’t call your sponsor—has it occurred to you that maybe you should’ve sat this one out? (It appears that “I’m a recovering addict” is going to be this year’s “I love leathah.” )

And frankly, I wasn’t feelin’ Johnny’s flowy tomato red dress. The judges’ praise felt producer-manipulated—self-doubting underdog triumphs with near win!—but hey, what do I know?

I did love Christopher’s little “cute and edgy” VMA number, although I agree that the taupe organza skirt looked dirty. And while I appreciate the fact that he’s self taught, I think Christopher’s “I don’t understand all yer fancy schoolin’” act is going to get old fast.

A few random thoughts:

Mitchell is one lucky boy that Lindsey Lohan was dumped by Ari because his Elizabethan stripper outfit was fugly.

Nicolas looks a bit like a wan, blonde Daniel Franco. Anyone? Anyone?

Louise looks like Eve Ensler, of Vagina Monologues fame.

In the end, I was glad Ari went instead of Qristyl, who may have questionable taste (in both design and the spelling of her first name) but is quite lovable.
Frankly, the minute Ari decided that instead of sketching a design she would stand on her head, I knew she was a goner. Pretty sure Diane Von Furstenberg doesn’t spend much time upside down.

I give the episode a B. Once I got past the wee bit of cognitive dissonance—wait, there’s a Mood in L.A.?—everything seemed just fine. I can’t wait to figure out who’s gay, who’s straight, who’s talented, who’s a pretender, who hates each other, and who’s sleeping with (or lusting after) whom. Only then, will I really know the games have begun.