Thursday, March 27, 2008

That’s Hot! The ANTM recap

Have the editors of Top Model just stopped caring at this point? I mean, could they have made it any more obvious that Aimee was going home this week? Or maybe I’m thinking of this the wrong way. Maybe I’m just assuming that there’s supposed to be some suspense when it comes to who gets eliminated. Instead, maybe it says in big letters on their weekly call sheet:
Opening Shot: Girl who is going to be eliminated.
Opening dialogue: Girl who is going to get eliminated speaks in confessional for the first time all series.
Or, conversely, perhaps they are genuinely fooling some of the teenage dimwits who watch this show: It’s insane! Just when I feel like I’ve really gotten to know Aimee on a personal level, they kick her off! Happens EVERY time!

Of course Aimee’s ouster must take a back seat to the other two headlines of the show.

Headline number one: Claire, to quoth Brit-Brit, is not that innocent.
I don’t know about you, but I found myself feeling sorry for Dominique this week. And that’s saying a lot. Because Dominique is pretty much a megalomaniac and a bully. But it was bad enuf when Claire went totally postal over the alarm clock going off early, calling Dom a “shady bitch.” (Really? Because she had alarm clock malfunctions?)
But when Dom wasn’t feeling well and was just trying to get some sleep, and ringleader Claire sat on the couch loudly talking with the other girls about Dom as though she wasn’t there—well that was approaching true shady bitch territory if you ask me.
(An aside: How beautiful are Claire’s husband and baby? And how much of an overshare was that when we found out that her breast milk was drying up? Please keep your tales from Planet Lactate to yourself, honey.)
The question: Will Claire’s behavior this week—and her shocking appearance in the bottom 2!—have any effect on her complete and utter dominance of CGoTW? Hard to say. But she sure didn’t get my vote this week. (Ha, just kidding. I don’t’ vote for Cover Girl of the Week, sillies!. . . No. . .really.)

The other big headline:
Nigel is a big ol fat pervy perv: How on earth he arranged for his Spitzer-like boudoir shot of Anya is beyond me. (Did he win a bet with Tyra?) But it felt awfully casting couch to me. On the other hand, it was Nigel, so it was also, as Whitney noted, hot.

Tyra’s little posing boot camp was actually pretty illuminating. This whole tidbit about posing like you are in pain (my fave? “My weave tracks are killing me!”) was news you can use. Ditto on the whole “listen to an imaginary beat in your head” pointer. Does Tyra for the first time truly believe that her own modeling career is over? Because she was giving up the tricks of the trade, y’all.

I really dug the music-themed photo shot, but I think it separated the wannabes from the contenders. While Claire, Stacey Ann, Fatima, and, duh, Aimee, all reverted to tried-and-true modelly poses, it was Dom, Kat, Anya, Lauren, and especially Whitney (my surprise of the week), who brought some attitude and performance to their shoots.
And while Kat looked decidedly ambivalent about Tyra’s news that she was getting a new haircut, I am thrilled. That haircut was fierce—and it’s going to take her from Spitzer girl (sorry, the expiration on Spitzer jokes is running out, so I’m trying to cram a few in while I can) to Paris couture.

Next week: “Lauren’s punk rock temper takes over the house!”
Ha, I’m going to start using that line on my friends. “I really can’t talk to you when your punk rock temper is taking over the house!”
Sid Vicious, eat your heart out.

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