Senior Center: The Project Runway recap

Hey, it’s Project Runway: The Golden Years. Okay, not quite. But you must admit, our final three is a pretty geriatric bunch. They’re the three oldest contestants—all on the wrong side of 38.

Still, it was kind of sweet when they all held hands as they negotiated the snowy streets of New York. After all, they wouldn’t want to break a hip.

Tim came to the studio to assess their progress. Seth Aaron, as per usual, had designed 451 new looks since we last saw him.

Mila was doing her goth geometry major thing.

Tim wasn’t sure about Emilio’s work. “Haven’t we seen this before?” he asked, adding quickly (too quickly): “I’m not saying this in a barbed, hostile way.” (The funny thing about Tim’s disclaimor was that it was completely unwarranted: There was nothing barbed or hostile about his comment. That is, until he pointed out how NOT barbed and hostile it was.)

Next, an incredibly lengthy commercial for L’Oréal and Garnier broke out. Oh wait, that’s the show. Look, all viewers of Project Runway are somewhat inured to the show’s excessive product placement. Kind of comes with the territory. But this was really beyond the pale. It’s our final episode of the season and we’re spending 10 minutes learning about lash-thickening mascara and stay rite hair control?!? This makes me want to actually throw away the L’Oréal and Garnier products that I currently own.

Bryant Park day and Seth Aaron has decided to do something fancy with his hair.

Not quite sure what to call his ‘do that defied gravity and came to a fierce point at the top: The dark pyramid? The black peacock? The hipster isosceles triangle?

Once they arrived at Bryant Park, Seth Aaron felt compelled to make snow angels on the stage. If I had a dime for every time a designer did that. . .well, I’d have a dime.

Just for the record, Emilio had no time for Seth Aaron’s tomfoolery.

Then something VERY DRAMATIC happened and 4 of the models (3 of Mila’s; 1 that was Emilio’s) were stuck in the snow and couldn’t make it. Mila was panicking. Emilio was bossing people around. It was all so tension-filled and climactic that they had to cut to a commercial! What would Mila and Emilio do?!?

Upon return, it was decided that they would use the backups. So that happened.

Seth Aaron’s collection came first. He was inspired by the Third Reich. Well, not exactly, but, as he put it: “1940s German Russian military”—a.k.a. Nazis. Just sayin’…

They panned to his family in the audience and I was struck by how clean cut his son and daughter were. They must be such a disappointment to him.

I must say, Seth Aaron’s collection was pretty slick. He took Tim’s advice to a tee: It was Seth Aaron, but more glamorous, more sophisticated, more polished. And yes, very dramatic.

Next Mila, who was inspired by the famed comic character The Shadow. “Who knows what darkness lurks in the hearts of man? Mila knows!”

Oh. . .wait. Apparently, she was inspired by actual shadows. . . Nevermind.

I loved most of Mila’s collection, especially the grey dress worn by the little Asian punk pixie and the shredded purple sweater over the striped tee and leather leggings number. Mila’s leggings are tight—both in the literal and slang sense of the word.

Finally, we had Emilio’s collection, which was inspired by his mom and her sisters in Harlem. Oh, who are we trying to kid? Emilio’s collection was inspired by his most favorite muse in the whole wide world: Emilio Sosa.

E Sosa 4 Life, bitches!

I could sort of see that Emilio’s collection was impeccable, but I wasn’t wowed by it. Maybe at this point, to paraphrase Jay: “I don’t like his designs because I don’t like him as a person.” But save for his show-stopping finale dress, I actually liked Emilio’s in-season stuff better than his tasteful but dull collection.

Judgment time!

The judges, including special guest star Faith Hill, were pretty much blown away by all three collections. Kudos to all.

They started with Seth Aaron.

Heidi had to admit that she “weally, weally liked it.”

And the judges agreed that his collection was bold and exciting.

As usual, Seth Aaron was guilty of over-working some pieces, but Nina found the whole thing “very editorial.” Score.

Next Emilio.

Faith Hill floved his coats.

All felt that his collection was very commercial. But they feared perhaps he had dialed it down a little too much.

“I wonder if you made a line, not a collection,” said Michael Kors.

Finally, Mila. The judges spent a lot of time patting themselves on the back for suggesting that she edge out her models.

“It made a really big difference,” they all agreed, practically high fiving eachother.

They also liked Mila’s use of texture.

“Whenever you played with shine, it really turned me on,” said Michael Kors. Creepy!

The 3 designers were sent backstage so the judges could deliberate. I have to say, it was truly suspenseful. I had no idea who was going to win.

Back on stage they come . . .

Mila is sent packing first. (Sad face.)

Then it comes down to Seth Aaron vs. Emilio.

“Seth Aaron. . . congratulations!” announces Heidi.

And with that, Emilio’s schlumpy, defeated posture got even schlumpier and more defeated than usual.

He kind of oozed off the stage in defeat.

Then he quoted Anthony: “The King does not always wear the crown.” (Somehow, this was more charming when Anthony said it.)

Anyway, squee! Seth Aaron won! Never been the biggest fan of his work, but he did put on a helluva show. And he seemed like such a sweetheart. (I’m just going to conveniently choose to forget that he was inspired by the Third Reich.) And the best part? In the time it took you to read this blog, Seth Aaron has actually designed 6 new coats!