Gum That Is Cooler Than I Am
Have you seen this gum? It's called Wrigley's 5. I've never seen such stylish gum in my entire life. Frankly, I'm not sure I want my gum to be so stylish. I feel like I need be dressed up to chew this gum. I'm not really sure what market Wrigley's is going after with this gum—the tween metrosexual? The club kid with bad breath? The globetrotting dentist? (It's sugar free.) All I can say is, it looks out of place next to the Mallo cups and Mary Sue Easter eggs at my Royal Farms store.
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