Hair ball: The Project Runway recap

Despite the fact that Heidi informs the models weekly that, “This, too, is also additionally a competition for you, as well” (or something like that), I’ve never cared much about the model portion of our little show. You’d have to be a pretty hardcore Project Runwayophile to even name a single model who ever worked that runway.
But I have to say that last night’s model selection process really irked me. Here come the models, all decked out with faux hawks and bouffants and dreadlocks and pounds of hairspray and then there’s this one model who has her hair. . . . pulled back smartly with a clip? It looked like a hairstyle you’d have for a yearbook photo, not an avant-garde runway creation. Poor girl never had a chance.
Auf Wiedersehen, my little nameless fraulein. Take heart: We wouldn’t have known you, even if you had won.
So yeah, for this competition, the designers have to make an avant-garde garment—something over the top, excessive, and utterly impractical. (I can’t even begin to imagine the spit, mud, and bird droppings Elisa would’ve used to make her outfit. Oh, how I miss the little wind goddess.)
Then they randomly picked names out a hat and Chris got teamed with Christian and, as far as I was concerned, it was pretty much Game Over.
But as a formality, the other teams were:
Rami and Sweet P
Ricky and Kit
and
Neurotic and Neuroticer (a.k.a Jillian and Victorya).
Then they had to pick team leaders. Because, you know, when you have a team of two, it’s essential to have a team leader. (Yeah, yeah, I know this is to determine who gets immunity for next week. . .but still).
Right away, it was pretty clear what the dynamics were on all the teams.
Christian and Chris’s team went something like this:
“You’re fierce”
“No, you’re fiercer!”
“You are the most feroche ever!”
And repeat.
Ricky and Kit, bless their hearts, were too blissfully ignorant to realize what a sucky job they were doing. (“We went a different way from the other designers,” noticed Kit, a little unsure.)
Rami was all bitchy with my homegirl Sweet P and treated her like she had some sort of mental disability and I pretty much wanted to smack him.
Jillian and Victorya fretted over everything—who would lead, what design they would make, how much time they had.
So you can only imagine the Xanax passed between those two when Tim came in and announced that they had to make another dress, this time a ready-to-wear garment that complemented their avant-garde creation.
Yikes!
(I don’t know about you, but I hate when Tim screws with the designers. It seems so impolite.)
Mostly, they worked it out. However, when Tim later announced that a special guest was coming into the studio, the designers stared at the door as if the Grim Reaper himself was going to show up and challenge them to a chess match. Instead, it was just the lead stylist from TRESemme! Quel relief!

Once again, Tim questioned something Christian was doing in the studio and once again, Christian blithely ignored him. (Oh, to be young, confident, and pocket-sized.) Although I have to say, in this case, Christian was right. His ready to wear garment did NOT look cheap, as Tim suggested. Indeed, considering the short notice, it was pretty damn good. (An aside: I read in an article that Christian refers to his hair style as “Asian lesbian.” Ha.)

Onto the judging. . .
Top two: Christian and Chris (duh) and Jillian and Victorya. I have to say, Jillian and Victorya really worked it out. Their military trench coat thing was hot. Any other season, that outfit would’ve won. But what Christian and Chris did was so extraordinary—it was like some perfect storm of designers and challenge—beautifully constructed, artistic, extravagant. In my opinion, it was one of the most spectacular garments in the history of the show. So the foregone conclusion became a reality.

Bottom two:
Ricky and Kit and Rami and Sweet P. I loved the fact that they praised Sweet P’s ready-to-wear ensemble (burn, Rami!) and weren’t buying any of his attempts to throw Sweet P under the bus. Of course, you knew they weren’t sending Rami home because the man can drape like a champ. So he’s in.

And then. . .aaargh! . . . they had him! Right there for the taking. Ricky. Bottom 2. Craptastic dress. No clue. What’s more, my eyes were still burning from the fact that we had seen not one, but two shirtless shots of Ricky in this episode. (Let me give the producers a little tip: Rami shirtless = hooray! Ricky shirtless = not so much). And they went ahead and cut cutie-pie Kit.
Does Ricky have compromising pictures of Michael Kors and Nina Garcia or what??? Why won’t he die? Why? Why?
Next week: Ricky cries on the runway and Michael Kors looks annoyed. I have hope.