I Am Not Feeling Fierce Today: The Project Runway recap

Why is Ricky still here? This is the thought I had twice last night, like bookends, at the beginning and the end of the show.
At first it was a mild, “Oh yeah . . . right. Ricky is still here.”
And then at the end, as two of my favorite designers stood on the chopping block, it was a more angry: “Seriously, WHY is Ricky still here?”
Let’s put aside the creepy little hats, the inexplicable crying jags, the mostly bland personality—Ricky has done absolutely NOTHING to distinguish himself in this competition. Nothing. Not one memorable dress and not one truly memorable moment. Last night was the judges’ big chance to kick him to the curb. His little poofy strapless number was yet another mediocrity. But nooooo.
I did dig last night’s prom dress challenge, if for no other reason then we got to see the designers in high school.
Christian’s transformation was the least exciting, since he pretty much still IS in high school.
Kevin’s yearbook photo proved that before he enrolled in the Joey Fatone School of Elaborate Hair Grooming, he rocked more of an 80s Nic Cage kinda thing.
Punky, edgy, bleach-blonde Kit was a mousy brunette with a seriously preppie looking boyfriend.
I would’ve loved to have seen Rami in some sort of Israeli military fatigue, but no such luck. (However, by an overwhelming margin, you, the boys and girls of America, want to take Rami to the prom!).
Sweet P’s prom photo was the awesomest. First of all, it was so late 70s, it gave me a The Virgin Suicides flashback. Lots of powder blue and blonde wings and ruffled shirts. Plus, her stoner boyfriend looked like some sort of fabulous cross between Spicoli and the naked kid from The Blue Lagoon. Way to go, Sweet P.
“We had lots of fun that night,” Sweet P giggled. I’m sure you did, honey.
Having the teenagers pick the designers was a nice little twist, leading to the following hilarious moment:
Victorya: So what about my design appealed to you?
Prom kid: Actually, I picked last. . .
Awkward!
For the most part, the designers wrestled with the notion of pleasing their hormonal, high on Red Bull and Love’s Baby Soft clients and staying true to their own design aesthetic. And for the most part, they failed. Rami went back to his tastefully risk-free self, and I’m glad he got whacked for it. (The funny part was, he had immunity. So his idea of taking a risk was. . . designing a dress that looked like every other dress in his collection.) Victorya’s winning dress, to me, really captured the spirit of the challenge—it was playful, young, and chic. I also liked Jillian’s aquamarine dress (pictured). The rest of the dresses ranged from pretty, but too conservative (Sweet P and Chris) (and allow us to pause for a moment to consider that unlikely conservative duo); overly whickety wacked (Christian, Kit); and just plain sloppily made (Kevin, Ricky).
The designers let me down.
Of course, it was Christian who had the most trouble with his opinionated client. Again, I think the fact that he is not much older than a high school kid (I was rather stunned when they showed him the house shaving) was part of his problem. He definitely had the biggest challenge—she was short, plus-sized, and bossy.
“I’m not feeling fierce today,” he moaned.
I have to say, though, I liked his attitude. No, not the defeatist attitude that forced Tim Gunn to give a rare in-studio pep talk; but his sense of irony about the situation, “You’ll miss me when I’m gone,” he told the other designers, pretty much assuming he was toast.
Of course, I knew Christian was going to stick around. First of all, he gives good soundbite. Second, he’s tremendously talented, and takes risks. They always let the Santinos and Jeffreys and Christians of this world have a major misstep or two. At least when they fail, they do it spectacularly.
As for Kevin. For the love of God, man, why didn’t you finish that hem? WHY? WHY? Everyone was telling you to finish the hem. I sort of felt like I was watching a horror film where the heroine runs upstairs right where the monster is hiding as the whole audience yells, “Take the front door! Take the front door!”
But alas. It wasn’t meant to be.
Kevin’s parting words, “At least I got to hug Heidi Klum.”
You see people, in case you hadn’t heard, Kevin is straight.