I’m Going to Wander Off Now: The Project Runway recap

If you ever secretly suspected that Tim Gunn sleeps in a smartly pressed white shirt with a Windsor knot tie and a tailored pin stripe suit, this episode of Project Runway would certainly not disavow you of that notion.
Because there was Tim, looking impeccably crisp and fresh at 6 am, as the designers stumbled around, rubbing sleep out of their eyes and pulling up their boxer shorts.
“I was a little traumatized,” admitted Kit. “I’m in my pajamas in front of Tim Gunn!”
Yeah, that can pretty much scar you for life.
But no time for dwelling on the humiliation, as the designers were off to the Hershey store in Times Square.
Sadly, Jillian slipped out of her pajamas and into rainbow suspenders from the Mork from Ork 1978 collection. Designer, heal thyself.
The Hershey store inspired three different reactions:
There was jaded know-how from Chris: “I have a lot of experience with knowing not to use food.” (And immediately, the mind wanders to an image of a drag queen slipping on a pool of melted Jell-O on the runway.)
There was unmitigated glee from magical forest sprite Elisa: “How can you not want to make things out of magic, magic, magic?” (So true.)
And there was “this sucks” teen eye-rolling from Christian: “Oh God, we’re going to make things out of candy.”
So off they went, ransacking the store like a bunch of toddlers on ritalin, grabbing as many Hershey’s Kiss pillows and giant Kit Kat bars as possible.
As for the poor woman who was possibly going to be in charge of cleaning up the destruction, all she do was muster a grim faced, “Have a sweet day.” (Kill me if I ever have to work for a company that forces me to exhort, “have a sweet day!”)
Back in the studio, Jillian was the only one dumb enough (smart enough?) to use actual food—in her case, intricately woven Twizzlers—but some seriously cool Pop Art creations were being designed.
Christian thought he was the absolute bomb diggity with his Reese’s cup dress, but it was actually just a (tasty) variation on the coffee filter dress we’ve seen a couple of times.
I totally LOVED Kit’s Kit-Kat dress, pictured. An obvious choice to be sure—what? You were expecting a Mounds bar?—but seriously cool and fun.
Chris managed to temper every fabulous bone in his body to create a surprisingly tasteful Hershey’s strapless sheath dress. He wanted that Gay Pride float (and apparently, so did Michael Kors—those two should so start their own line for drag queens and MOBs) but was able to resist, quite winningly.
Elisa revealed that she had been hit by a Porsche and in a coma (holy $#!@!!!!)—but that still didn’t quite explain her ungodly combination of doody-brown dress with metallic water wings.
Kevin disappointed me with his ho-hum outfit. Yes, it was well made and tasteful. But really, what about giant metallic candy wrappers makes the mind leap to a brown cocktail jacket and matching slip skirt?
Jillian’s finished project was impressive—and smelled good, too, apparently!—but maybe too gimmicky to actually win?
Ricky Hershey’s Kiss shaped dress didn’t suck, which is a big improvement for him.
Sweet P was a hot mess today. (Although Tim Gunn’s assessment that her skirt looked like a maxi pad made it clear that he is not familiar with women’s toiletries.) But I’m glad she got to stay. I really love her Aging Hipster That Could pluck.
Victorya also let me down with her milk maid monstrosity. The less said about that dress the better
Finally, our winner, Rami. I liked his dress—it had a kind of Candyland fantasy quality and it represented a nice departure from his risk-free chic of past shows. Also, its level of craftsmanship had Zac Posen’s eyes popping out of his (adorable) head. Still, I have a hard time getting amped about any Rami win. It’s just so. . . predictable. In a year that had kitchen wiz Hung win Top Chef, and Tyra clone Saleisha win ANTM, a Rami win at Project Runway would be another letdown. Let’s go, Christian, Jillian, and Victorya (and dark horse Kevin). Pick up the pace!
As for our new age nymph Elisa? It was time for her to go. And she seemed to agree. “As it should be,” she said when Sweet P eluded the cut. (I suspect this was more of a “everything happens for a reason” bit of Zen equanimity than a “your dress was better than mine” acknowledgement.)
Then she saw Heidi’s “auf wiedersehen” and raised it an “ashay”—which is clearly some of kind of secret yogi tree hugging salutation. And with that, she wandered off into Mother Earth’s kind embrace.