Attack of the Giant Cowl: The Project Runway recap

Something miraculous happened on this week’s episode of Project Runway: Logan made a joke.

Not a “take up my hemline—please” sort of thing. Or anything that would actually make someone, you know, LOL.

But an honest to goodness, look-mom-he-has-a-personality! joke.

Here’s how it went down:
The challenge was to create an outfit inspired by a place that has shaped the design aesthetic of Michael Kors. (Turns out, Kors has been shaped by a truly schizophrenic assortment of locales—don’t you really have to choose between New York or Hollywood?—but that’s another story altogether.)

Carole Hannah went first and picked Palm Beach.
Then Nicolas picked Greece.
Althea picked St. Tropez.
Irina picked Aspen.
Gordana picked Park Avenue.
Christopher picked Santa Fe

And Logan, bringing up the rear, picked Hollywood. Then he raised his hands triumphantly over his head—as if rejoicing in his booby prize. And the other designers laughed and laughed.

(Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t really all that funny.)

Sooooo. . .the Irina pop-up bubble of cattiness continued:

“His dress looked like something an Amish person would wear,” she sniffed at Christopher’s (admittedly sad) garment.

“I look around and the level of craftsmanship and creativity hasn’t increased,” she said, to the room.

“Maybe if they would joke less and sew more, they’d do better,” she opined. (Can you imagine if she’d been around during Santino’s season?)

Not much else happened.
Christopher narrated the moment where he realized that his dress looked like a Little House on the Prairie costume. The funny part was how clearly the look on his face read: “Oh shit. I just designed a Little House on the Prairie dress.” It was unmistakable.

Tim Gunn took one look at Irina’s outfit and said in that glorious Tim Gunn WASPy intonation: “It’s a giant cowl.”
(He just has a way of putting things, doesn’t he?)

Nicolas sheepishly admitted that he’d never been to Greece.

A touch bored, my mind began to wander over to whether or not Logan buys his knit caps in bulk. . .

Once again, I liked Althea’s outfit, pictured, the best. To me, it was the fantasy. I could see that girl hanging out on some hairy-chested tycoon’s yacht sipping Cristal.

Irina’s winning cowl was okay—certainly luxe, but a bit too matchy-matchy for my taste. And so very, very. . .brown.

I am stunned—stunned!—that Carole Hannah didn’t get whacked for her lack of originality. Yeah, the dress was nice, but I enjoyed it more 3 seasons ago, when Uli made it.

Gordana’s dress was okay—the necklace was pretty special, but certainly not the stuff of Park Avenue fantasies. Mr. Big would not approve.

Now let’s get to the real duds of the bunch: Christopher, Logan, and Nicolas.

Logan’s idea of young Hollywood is a plain white skinny jean, suspenders and a vest. (Slap a knit cap on that sucker and it looks like something he would wear). Lindsey wouldn’t even bother to put down the crack pipe for that get-up. (I kid, I kid. . .)

Christopher’s idea of Santa Fe is bad fabric and a big belt. (Come to think of it, that’s pretty accurate.)

And Nicolas’s idea of Greece is . . .office temp worker.
(No Michael Kors, it wasn’t reminiscent of Grease: The Musical— you’re better than that.)

(He did, however, redeem himself when he said that Carole Hannah’s loud pattern was like a “pinstripe” in Palm Beach.)

Guest judge Milla Jovovich proved to be very nurturing—and pretty clever in her own right.
“If this show was Project I Didn’t Mind It, he’d win,” she said of Logan.

Later, she cried when young Nicolas got the boot.
“I don’t know how you guys do it,” she sniffed, as Michael Kors smirked malevolently.

Raise your hand if you thought Christopher was going down? Yeah, me too. But at least Christopher made a fun belt. Nicolas’ outfit was the exact place where Mediterranean dreams go to die.
So he is gone.

(Lifetime-programming aside: Michelle Pfeiffer and Ashton Kutcher made a movie together? Where they’re . . .lovahs? How did I miss that? Was this some sort of warm-up for Cherie? And DVR. . .set.)